Friday, August 8, 2014

Real Talk: Making Friends in Adulthood

Let's be real. Its mad easy to meet people as an adolescent. You mix and mingle in school have your clique of friends, or your BFF and your always around people of your age. Your bound to find at least one person you have enough in common with who doesn't work your nerves. You get to college and its the same...surrounded by your peers making it easier to find at least one person you click with. But, in adulthood, its not so easy.

I have moved twice since I left Philly 6 years ago. I did the NJ/NYC thing and now I'm in NC. Both were big scary moves and this meant moving away from my friends. I have a few friends from childhood that are my ride or dies and I have my friends I've made in adulthood. Almost all of those adult friends I made at jobs. When I moved to NC I was so upset because that meant starting over meeting people in my new city. I still can call my girls back in the northeast and see them once or twice a year, but nothing beats having at least one person to go out and do things with on a regular basis. From what I've found MANY people are in the same boat as I, with almost every person I've met in NC being from another state and they've expressed how hard it is to meet new people and make friendships. Transplants unite! So, what's a fabulous introverted social butterfly like myself supposed to do??

If you're like me and craving human contact and like to get out and do things, here are some options for you. And YES some of these may sound intimidating, but if I can do it so can you. I'm an introvert with social anxiety and I've done everything on this list at least once.

  • - THE website for doing stuff and meeting people. When I say there is literally a group for everyone and there are groups all over the US, I mean why not? And if you don't see a group you want, create your own. Its free to join most groups and the ones that do have dues its usually like $12 a year. I've joined several groups and have gone to several events and had fun (well mostly...I'll save my story for another post) and it's good to meet people and do something you enjoy.
  • Sportsvite - I came across this site one day when I was Googling finding people to workout with. This site is great for finding workout buddies or organized sports leagues in your area. I've met a couple of people off of here and burned some calories playing sports!
  • Work - Many people become friends with their coworkers and many don't. When I came to my current job, my team members didn't even have each other's cell numbers!  I had everyone's number by my second week. Now they all do and we've gone out many times and had a ball. I also organize team happy hours or if I have a meeting with someone who seems cool I will mention we should hang out sometime or do lunch. That's a great way to get to know people outside of work. Many of my closest friends stemmed from work relationships.
  • Out and About - You may meet a friend in the strangest of places the same way love may come calling in the aisle of a Walmart. One of my friends I made here in NC is the nurse from my Allergist office. I used to come in once a week for allergy shots (I have the worst allergies ever) and we'd chat and we hit it off. We friended each other on Facebook made plans to hang out and the rest is history.
  • Facebook - Don't sleep on the groups on Facebook. There are tons of groups on Facebook for any topic you can think of. I'm in a few Natural hair groups, dating groups, fashion groups, etc. As I mentioned in my previous post, I met the last guy I dated on Facebook in a dating group. If you're having great dialogue with some people in a group and they don't live far from you, ask about meeting up offline.
I'll be creating a post to piggyback on this topic about when its time to let a friend go and to know when a situation isn't for you.

 What are some ways you've met friends in your adult life?

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